you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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