You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
