In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
