i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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