I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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