We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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