At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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