found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
