I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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