Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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