Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
