listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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