we're chasing vodka with high fives
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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