I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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