I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
