i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is my gift to your gina
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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