I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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