Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
