Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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