I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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