I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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