My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
