I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
