On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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