so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
