but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
