Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.