I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.