New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize