I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.