She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.