she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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