Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you would pick up someone in the library
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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