I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
