I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
