i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
