Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
