Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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