Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
