I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
