I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
