we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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