Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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