wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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