He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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