I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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