my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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