he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
