the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
