the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
