How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
