I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
