oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
