But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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