i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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