The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
