My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
