He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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