last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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