Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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