Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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