She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
