Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The struggles of a small town man whore
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
