YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
