My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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