You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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