dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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