dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
