addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
