I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
