I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize